After feeling like I had reached a plateau in the series, I pulled together these last five images to round it off. Finally having natural light, I decided to mix light sources to see the effect it would have on the work. With the exception of the last image (which I think would fit in nicely with the second week of work), these images have a softer, more sensual tone to them, mostly attributed to the variation in light sources, warmer editing and 8x10 cropping. I liked the idea of peeking hands that gave an indication of aggravation but do not dominate the composition.

What I found most intriguing about the project weren't the images themselves, nor the process, but the perspective. The first round of feedback I received from the course instructor was simply a concern for my own well-being rather than a criticism of the work. On numerous occasions, I had to defend myself with a disclaimer that these images which could be loosely interpreted as "self-mutilation" (it's a valid point) are in no way autobiographical. I plainly missed this as saw the all from the whole series from the other side as a photographer. Despite the technicality of being "self-portraits," I took a completely objective standpoint when composing these photographs. I was the model but the subjects were the elements I mentioned in previous explanations: color and discoloration, light and shadow, texture and line. Subjectivity vs. objectivity. I shoot best when I'm alone and like I mentioned in the final critique of the class, I would have felt uncomfortable with a model performing these actions simply because the boundaries between model and photographer would have made the series less compelling. Model vs. mind. I birthed the idea so I thought it best to carry it out despite the implications of self-harm in self-portraiture. Stigma vs. bravery.

(As disappointing and disillusioning as it may be, nothing in these photographs actually hurt anyway.)

(Subterfuge.)

I lost focus this week among colds, checklists and gratuitous spending for the sake of art shows. I could not settle down with subject. Next week, my final presentation for the class, will be better.

Pushing myself a bit further with this series, I attempted to concentrate on mainly shadow and discoloration. Sickly yellows and aggravated pinks. "A wanness," my instructor remarked this week. One student said the photos reminded him of hospital lighting, washed out, a sallow fluorescent glow.

The series could, in fact, relate to illness, a worsening of conditions, a self-antagonization. Two unified parts working against each other, mind and body, fingers and flesh. The hand in these photos is the perpetrator, scratching, harsh, present and unshy of the violence; and the body, the victim.